Displaced Thoughts of a 20-Something Mind

in the end, i know this will be a good decision for me

I broke up with Matt, my boyfriend, last night. It started at the idea of going to a party with our friends, but then a culmunation of all of the stuff that's been rolling through my head came out.
For one thing, every one knows I like to go out and party. That's just part of who I am, that's what my friends and I as a group LOVE to do. And when I am home and go out with everyone, he basically instilled a curfew, or a certain time that I was required to call him before he would be mad at me. I'm sorry, but I can't be in a relationship like that.
Also, there was an incident on the eve of my grandfather's wake that was still sticking in my head, and someone that is disrespectful towards members of my family, or thinks that the emotions towards members of my family isn't genuine, is not a healthy person to be with. I've talked to some people about that situation, and I am totally justified in my thinking after that.
The big thing at this time is the "old couple syndrome". I am a 20 year old girl in college. I want to spend time with my friends. I want to go out to parties. I want to *gasp* drink! He doesn't like when I do any one of those, in any combination. I can't sit around a house every night and hear about the party the next day. I've missed out on a lot of stuff during this relationship. I've tarnished one of my best relationships with a girl last year because of circumstances that she couldn't control, and I wish I could have saved it before it was too late.
There are not all bad things of course, but the bad outweighed the good in this situation. Comfort is sometimes nice, but I think the comfort level with him was just pushing away all of the bad, but the bad was part of our relationship as well. I can't stay in a relationship just because I like the comfort of having someone there 24/7 when I need them. I need more than that. I need someone who will respect me, someone who doesn't put me down all the time, basically someone who loves me for me, and sadly, in the end, that was just not the case.
Sorry to kind of throw this emotional crap on everyone, but I had to get it out. I needed to write it all out and see that, in the end, this is the best decision for me, and ultimately, him as well.

posted by Christi @ 12:28 PM