getting back on track
Being home, having my mom bake cookies and cakes, is really no way to stay on track for a diet. So here I am, back at school, getting back on track. My goal is 10 lbs before the summer starts, so we'll see. I've lost that much before in a month, so I know I can do it. I have a wedding to go to on April 29th, so it is my goal to make it their first.
I spent two hours at the rec center today. I started with 30 minutes on the treadmill at 15 incline at a moderate pace of 4.3. I then went to do 20 minutes of abs, followed by 20 minutes of thigh work. I then went back and did another 30 minutes on the treadmill of the same. Hopefully, I will be able to keep the momentum going. I need to start feeling better about myself. I always get to a point where I like myself, and then, I just seem to get TOO comfortable and feel that I can eat whatever. BAD IDEA! I just do NOT have good metabolism (damn genes!) I don't know what happened in the family, but my brother Chuck eats and drinks like crap, and never gains an ounce, while me, my mom and dad, along with my other brother, have a problem with weight (i'm not too bad, but college is no where to be when trying to stay on a diet).
We'll see where I am in a week. That's how I make my goals. Baby steps...
goodbye grandpa
My granfather was put to rest today in the Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery here in St. Louis. It was a very emotional day, to say the least.
We arrived at the funeral home early this morning. Our family, including my father's 3 brothers and sisters, their spouses, 13 of my grandfather's grandchildren, and 14 of his great grandchildren, were in attendance. We said a few prayers, and then proceeded to walk by the casket and say our final goodbyes.
After a few well-wishers (family friends and such) went by, the immediate family was all that was left. No one wanted to be the first one to go. My father finally stood up, trying to be strong, and reached for my hand. We made our way up, and my father began to cry. It's hard watching my father cry. He's a military man, known for being the strong one on base, the one that gets on the young guns to be tough, but today, my father was just a son, saying his final goodbye to his own father.
My father kissed his father on the forehead, just as he has done for the past few weeks while visiting him in the hospital. And slowly, but surely, we said our final goodbye.
Many of my cousins chose to put a few things in the casket when they said goodbye. Small mementos that they thought my grandfather shouldn't be without. My grandfather was buried with packets of his planting seeds, which he always spent countless hours on the porch planting for his green house. He was given a Cardinal's hat, because our grandfather never missed a game. My brother gave him a Cardinal's schedule, and some tea, because grandpa could never be found on the porch without his tea. Some of my cousins gave him some packages of peppermints and butterscotches, which all of us grandkids used to sneak from the jar when our grandparents weren't watching. He had a can of tomato soup, because we all ate it at the house almost every visit. My grandpa will be occupied for a while. :)
There were so many things that I wish I had bought, but didn't think about it until afterward. I wish someone would have brought a wiffle ball, because he would always laugh at my grandmother when she would yell at us for breaking yet another window. Or one of those small cheeseburger boxes from White Castle. My grandfather loved him some White Castle cheeseburgers.
The actual service at the church was nice. I sat between my mom and my dad. My dad composed himself until after the service, as we followed the casket out. They took of the usual white sheet and replaced it with a U.S. flag. My grandfather was in the Navy. Him and my grandmother met at a U.S.O. club.
We made our way in the procession to Jefferson Barracks. I've never been here before, but this place is amazing. All of the sites are aligned just so, for as far as the eye can see in every direction.
There were 2 sailors in attendance, saluting us as we passed by, and they watched the rest as well. My grandfather had a galant send off. There was a 21 gun salute, and there was a man playing Taps on the trumpet as the sailors folded up the flag and handed it to the sailor. "I married a sailor. Thank you very much." It made us all smile through our tears to hear her say that to the sailor that presented it to her.
Grandpa is in a better place now. He's planting his way to heaven. His seeds are still growing here, too. I'm one of them, as are all of my aunts and uncles, their kids, and their kids. I think he had a pretty good run. We're all living proof of that.
one more angel to look over me
My grandfather died this afternoon.
I have millions of thoughts running through my head. He has been in the hospital for the past two weeks. He had had a heart attack earlier, and he was on a respirator and a feeding tube since his lung had collapsed.
My grandmother did NOT want to put him in a nursing home. He had been in two of them before, and he had almost died because they had "forgotten" about his insulin for his diabetes. She wanted him home.
He went home today. It was one of his better days, my father had said. My father came home to spend time with my before I went back to Columbia for work tomorrow afternoon.
My grandfather was gone within the hour.
Out of all the people that SHOULD have been there when he passed, my father should have been the one to be there with him. My uncles aren't very good about this kind of thing. My dad has taken off work for the past two weeks to be at the hospital with my grandfather and grandmother. My uncles were there for maybe only an hour or two a day...if that.
Watching my father cry is the worst feeling in the world. To a girl, her father is her protector. When you see that man cry, it breaks you apart inside. I held him while he cried. I was the protector today, yet there was really nothing I could do but be there for him, to be his shoulder to cry on.
You see, I was the next person to find out in the family after my father. He had called my mother's cell phone while we were out picking out stuff for my apartment, and when I answered, he thought I was my mother. I heard him break down. "Dad died." I broke. The phone dropped and I sobbed.
He thought I was my mother. He didn't want me to find out like that. It didn't matter to me. I had to find out sooner or later. It WAS a shock, but it feels more official coming from my father. If I heard it after the fact from my mom, I don't think it would have affected me as much. Hearing the words from my father, whose own father had just passed away, was very emotional. It was more raw, more real to me in this way.
My mother said that I'm lucky. I have 3 angels looking down on me now. He is with my mother's parents. They are watching me now. They want to see me succeed. Now, I want to show them that I can make MY dreams come true, as well as theirs.
My grandfather died happy. My father said he was petting the cat when he left the house today. He had talked with him about their hunting excursions and his time in the Navy.
My grandmother was grateful he died at home. They have been in that home through thick and thin. They moved into that house after they were married. They raised their children in that house. They helped raise their grandchildren in that house. He deserved to die in that house. He didn't deserve a death in a nursing home, alone. He didn't deserve to die in the hospital, his last noise he heard to be the machine beeping uncontrollably.
I love you grandpa...I WILL make you proud.
lucky
"Gruesome and strangely enchanting...A controlled and meticulous account..."
This quote from Newsday drew me in as I ran my fingers over the glossy bookcovers while passing time today in the student bookstore between morning classes. I have heard many things about this memoir by Alice Sebold. "lucky." is her account of her rape as a college freshman. I am intrigued by first hand accounts of tragedy and recovery. I am just starting to read this memoir, but trust me...in the days to come I will be reviewing parts of this book. I'm sure of it.
Sadly, this kind of hits home with me. I will write more later. Class is about to start, and I can't delve in as much as I would like to at this hour.
*air kisses and non-fat tall venti lattes to you all*
today for you, tomorrow for me...
I have to work tonight. The retail work really sucks! I want to be a full-time student and just get A's, but no, I have that whole spending money to think about.
Enough about work and money...onto the good news!
As of tomorrow, I will officially be deemed a Journalism student here at the University of Missouri-Columbia. FINALLY! The amount of pre-reqs us journalism hopefuls have to do is ridiculous! It makes me sick really. I had to go through Chemistry (blegh!), 3 semesters of Spanish (don't know a lick of it, either), and handfuls of Psychology and Art thrown in there as well. But I guess in the world of journalism, you never know what kind of knowledge you will need when you finally get a paying job.
More good news. I have two classes until noon tomorrow, and then woohoo! I get to go home for a few days. My spring break is next week, but I will spending it here in beautiful (by beautiful I mean cold, windy, and all around dreary) Columbia, Missouri while working sporadically and not making a whole lot of money. I have friends going to Florida, Mexico, New York. You know what I have to say to them....HAVE FUN! (i can't be too mean..they are luckier than I am)
That's it for now. I have to iron my pants and get ready for a few hours of minimum wage to go into my bank account. Ahh..the life of a working student.
pass the caffeine, please
I just got done with my second exam in my Drug and Behavior class. I am in love with this class. There is so much information to delve into throughout the course, but it's just so interesting to me. I'm not one to use drugs recreationally, but if I ever decided to, I would know the doses to take in order to be safe. (joking...kinda)
Did you know that if you took a puff from 60 cigarettes at once, you would instantly die? Seriously, your heart would stop immediately and you would keel right over. This is the kind of stuff we learn in class. Want another fun fact? Drinking 75-100 cups of coffee within one day would kill you as well. It would speed up your heart to the point where it just couldn't function properly. Makes you think twice about running into that Starbuck's between meetings, huh? NOT! Right after class I ran into the market and got myself a cappucino with a shot of espresso. HELLO! 80 mg of caffeine right to the brain. I'm ready for the day.
Although, today is my slow day. I only have one class on Tuesdays. And as of right now, I'm just drinking my coffee, reading the paper, watching "Dazed and Confused" on AMC, and writing this blog. (thank you, caffeine, for the multi-tasking boost)
Plus, "Dazed and Confused" seems appropriate after my test. :) And who can resist an early Matthew Mcconaughey? Scrumptious!
That's all for right now. I am sure I will post more later about my life outside of classes. I get bored just thinking about my classes at the moment.
*air kisses*
We haven't been formally introduced
I'm new to this whole blogger thing, so bare with me here. I know NO ONE will ever probably read this, but ultimately, this is a place for me to rant and rave about the going-ons of my everyday life here at college, my family life, and my ongoing struggle to be the person I want to be, now and in the future.
I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Christi and I attend the University of Missouri-Columbia. I am currently a Journalism major and I am trying to get my business minor as well. I am a very ambitious person, but also, on the other hand, I love to be lazy and just lay around with my candles lit while reading a great magazine, watching Sex and the City, or just having girl-talk with my friends. (the kind that usually end in laughter or tears are my fave).
I really am a down to earth kind of girl. I like to hang out with the guys with a few beers and make jokes. I am always up for a game of soccer or football (i love tackling those boys!).
Yet, I am a girly-girl as well. I like to dress up, wear cute heels(no matter how much they kill my feet), and do my hair for hours in order to get it to look "right". I don't get to do this often, so once it happens, watch out boys! Here I come!
What else could I tell you about this twenty-something mid-western girl? Hmmm...what would the people out there want to know? (leave comments and ask me questions...i will go off of anything someone asks me)
I am in love with Parisian culture. I have pictures of the Eiffel Tower all around my room and someday, I hope to visit there and kiss my man on top of the wonderous tower. (cheesy I know...but that's my dream) Maybe even someday, I will have a great magazine assignment where I get PAID (wow..i couldn't even imagine) to go to Paris and do a feature story on fashion and the people of France. How fantastical would that be for me? AMAZING...I wouldn't even know where to begin.
I also have a dream to live in New York and work at a magazine in the city. My absolute DREAM job would be to work at Cosmo (the bible to all my girls) and be a feature writer or even editor. Anything to put my name in a by-line of magazine.
I think I will wrap up for now. If anyone stumbles upon this blog, leave my comments and ask me a few questions. Answering questions about myself could be interesting...
